I’ve figured it out. The magic answer. The solution to all the bland restlessness, yet inability to make myself do anything sense of foggy boredom that has been clouding over me lately.
This is apathy. Strong, intense apathy that dampens anything worth looking forward to, an apathy I befriended not so long ago and apparently has returned.
This apathy. Makes happiness difficult to attain, depression just a small step away. But taking that step (in either direction) is oh so difficult. Lack of motivation, of optimism, presents a bit of a challenge.
So maybe this four day weekend and my trip to Berkeley/San Francisco will make things interesting again. Not that today hasn’t been interesting, it’s Valentine’s Day, and I, of course, managed to get into all sorts of irritating crapshoots with trying to send last minute scholarships and losing my keys and the puddles getting my flats (the one day I decide to wear flats!) all wet and water splashing all over cars and such…
But hopefully it’ll be the change, the spark, the inspiration that I need to get out of apathy. I am actually quite excited.