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Anticipation

January 20, 2008

So I finally have my U of C alumni interview in a little more than an hour. Last night and today, I’ve been reading every little thing on the Chicago website about the dorms, traditions, classes. In my mind, I’m answering questions and making my case with a conviction that can’t be denied. In my mind I’m already at the university where fun comes to die.

This morning I had a dream in which I received two envelopes, I think from Northwestern, the first I opened told me of a large scholarship that would be granted to me. Which lead me to believe that the other was an acceptance letter. And it was. In the dream, it was magical. Or maybe it was Cornell. In my dream I told everyone that I’d been accepted to Cornell, despite that I felt not as overjoyed, it seemed an important thing to say. I remember smiling and saying it didn’t really matter what the others schools said now, I’d just have to wait and hear. Because at least I’ll be going to Northwestern/Cornell for sure.

I’m not sure what that meant (probably that I’ve been reading College Confidential and college websites a bit too much lately), but it was a strangely realistic dream, and I wish that it would be true. Not as much, however, as my dream of going to the University of Chicago.

In my mind, I’m repeating the same determined sentences that will change their hearts. In my mind, I’m staring them in the eye and telling them that the U of C is my only future.

I doubt reality will translate the same way. This somehow resembles my dreaded Columbia interview. They called, instead of emailed. We scheduled the interview for the next day. Both of my interviewers are Asian.

And, I suppose, that’s the extent of the similarities. But they seem vaguely foreboding, disturbing. Nevermind that the first was a fancy coffee shop I hate, and this one to be at the alumni’s office. Nevermind the many other differences that I’m sure will pop up when I actually depart.

What am I trying to say, trying to do? Perhaps relieve myself of this nervousness. It should be nothing. A conversation. But as it seems to have the weight of my deferral hanging over it, I want to be as prepared as possible. Self reassurance in the form of long winded posts, as usual.

Wish me luck.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. January 22, 2008 12:16 pm

    I hope you get what you want.

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